I had absolutely no idea of the impact that experience would have over my life. Actually I had completely forgotten about it, that is until last month when I was faced with some devastating shocking news and my neck went out. I could barely sleep so I headed to the chiropractor.
He first found I had a disc out in my neck. As he worked on correcting my muscles, nerves and spine through Applied Kinesiology, he also found there was some emotion in my governing meridian that was linked to the age of 17. (Even though this may seem unorthodox, it happened to me nonetheless. Christs Gospel was also unorthodox at His time:) He asked what that could be?
I knew the drill.
Thanks to many friends and facilitators, I have been learning of how our life memories and storage of experiences can be simply recalled when we ask and allow them to come.
I said, "okay" and took a deep breath to ground myself. Almost immediately I had a memory come to my mind.
It was an experience of when I was on a date with a guy at the Maryland State Fair. We met across the street at the bowling alley, where friends worked and often hung out, and we headed over. There were hundreds of people walking through each row and I was walking with this guy whom I had never gone on a date with and another couple. Out of no where, a short petite younger girl's fist was coming towards my face from around my right side. The punch pushed me down on my back side onto the asphalt as she was over me, probably going for more. I got my feet under me and shoved her with all my might. She went up and over to the ground where my knee busted on the asphalt and I was now above her. Two muscle men began holding us back saying, "Alright, break this up." As if I even wanted it!
I was quite shocked and I think it pretty much ended my date.
I went forward from there; on with my life patterns, not discovering them. Not even knowing how they would impact me for ill for the next 24 years.
Right there in that moment of recognition, in my mind, heart, body and spirit, and with that healing breath, I was able to release the impact of that blow. I was informed I would go through the next 24-hours and my body systems would adjust. I actually found myself crying in the evening and weeping through an entire two hour session at my house of worship that next day. It was obviously connected because crying is not something I have often done since that time.
From that one negative experience, I learned a few things:
- That the young man I was with, didn't take her off me while I was down.
- That I had to be my own defense. I had to defend myself when accused, threatened, or punched in the face.
- And boy do I hate the fair!
Now, these are not the only things I learned, but these are some of the false beliefs that cemented. This impactful emotional experience cemented it well. It actually again verified the lie that I have been told by my spiritual enemies my entire life. As I have been releasing these types of things, I have come to understand my real life "wilderness" struggle and this was relevant to it.
When this date of mine, stood and watched, and I got my feet under me and fought back, I also learned I had to hold-up a false-pride in my defense. Not to be humble and hurt by someone punching me in the face or trying to take the guy whom I was with away, but to be overly defensive and stand in an overly confident way, when I was feeling shocked and scared inside. It could be expected that was what I had to do and I believe many would do the same. But it was this false belief of pride and over confidence and trying to defend from the shock and awe, that I chose to believe in that moment, and which I have continually seen when I feel threatened or scared.
It was this single negative experience, emotion and falsehood which has been a burden on me and has negatively impacted some of my most important relationships. I could go on sharing the stories, believe me, but I want to illustrate a very important message.
Since releasing this single burden through the atoning power of Jesus Christ, I no longer feel a desire to hold up a defense in the face of shock and fear. I have cried more in the last month than over the last 24 years. I feel my tears have a deep root and are bringing out more hidden pain to give away to my Savior. I've been able to see how much more pain, sorrow and burden I have to release through His enabling and atoning power and it makes me wonder, What else do I have to release? What else is there? What other pains and sorrows am I carrying? What is my vulnerability and how can I allow Christ's strength to heal me fully? (Writing this and asking myself these questions helped me know my next one to really address is fear.)
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| Look to the Son and shed that which is dead. |
I believe this is a big reason why we are here sojourning on this planet Earth and that it should be our biggest educational concern. But no matter the why, I'm beginning to know it is the only way to return. We must recognize and feel the pain of our struggles and develop that essential pattern of calling out to our Creator for the comfort of home. Then, be about releasing those; completely letting them go out and upward towards the Son, so we can be reformed by Him and restored to our true Divine Nature, thus be transformed and renewed.
Completely!
This is the purpose of this time of year. This is the perfect time to renew.
So I ask....
What else do you have to release?
Pick up a pencil and a paper and write this question. Then write whatever pops into your head. Trust yourself. You know inside. Your Spirit knows. Write until nothing comes. Ask yourself if there is anything else? God will answer. Write it. Then, take a deep breath and let it go out with your exhale.
This releasing to Christ is truly The Way forward. What are we waiting for? Let's travel the course together and return!
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