Laying It All Down

*updated*
I awoke this morning with this song going through my mind.   It was one more answer to a question I continually ask about in connection with several dreams I have had over the years about my long awaited, beautiful baby girl, Eliza Beth.




After I had my first child, I had an impression she would come last, be our second girl.  When I was pregnant with our fourth son Peter, named after my cherished paternal Great-Grand father, I had a horrifying dream where I was laying her down on an altar of a white cloth with a man on the other side.  My arms released her and were outstretched as I pulled out from under her and I slowly walked backwards. 


I awoke then with my mind racing, yet the transition from asleep to wake was imperceptible and I knew God was teaching me something in that dream.  "Was I ever going to have her?,"  I wondered.   "What did this dream mean?"

I continued to have dreams about her.

One was of having a long labor where it seemed like there was a lack of oxygen on the part of the baby.  "Oh," I thought preemptively making assumptions, "She will be disabled.  Maybe she will come much later in my life?"  I have since learned it means something different.  

That name, Eliza Beth/Beit, popped into my head one day while I was thinking about her.  Beit/Beth is the name of the 2nd Hebrew Letter, representing the House/Family/Tent Floor Plan/etc. (See The Early Semitic Pictographic Alphabet book)  Eliza just happens to be the the name of my maternal Great-Grand Mother.   At that moment I realized I had unexpectedly named all my children after family members who long ago passed into the Spirit realm, so it made sense to me that her name would be Eliza, and Beit, for "the House."   
  
When I came to understand that the "school" I'd had impressions I would one day build, was that very "Hebrew School" I had been looking for to send my children to (see Katie's story here), and that it was called the House of the Book, I stopped.  THAT word.  The House.  The Beit.  Was this Eliza?!

As I began to go forward in building the website, developing the Foundation Builder Guide program, and teaching more, I kept thinking of that girl.  Both her and this "House."  I wanted them both, yet I was seeing the House of the Book could really be this baby.  Then, when I began to have really hard experiences, the answer was always there to remind me.  I began learning to "lay it down" and "let her go" in ways I never could understand before.

Since that time, I've had to learn greater lessons of "laying it all down" in many different ways.  Once when I nearly lost my closest friend because she wanted to give ownership of what I was creating to another, I had an opportunity to release the pain of that experience and learn to trust again.   Or, when I was faced with my greatest fears and felt I almost lost my family, I was able to release childhood traumas and see God's hand guiding me through the results of crafty enticings of the devil.

I have learned many important things on this journey I call my Pilgrim's Course and I have had many interpretations come as I apply my understanding of symbols from my research with the Symbolic Hebrew, and move forward in faith.  However, the most important lesson I know I can learn from this "wandering" I am doing here and with birthing this "ElizaBeit" baby is this: 


What if it is in laying it all down that we finally receive?
What if it's by surrendering that we show that we believe?
What if it's in letting go that we are really holding on, 
And that we finally see that He's been there holding on all along?
A Believing Woman by Caitlin Maxfield Connolly
Now what are some of your stories in "letting go" and "laying it all down?"

May the sun always shine upon you,
~ Katie

Resources:
  • The idea of ~ the transition from asleep to wake was imperceptible and I knew God was teaching me something in that dream ~ from Richard G. Scott's, To Learn and to Teach more Effectively 
  • Learn more about the "Beit" or the "Open Palm" in my recent Ancient Hebrew Alphabet book, The Early Semitic Pictographic Alphabet.
  • This post aligns with a "help in our Wilderness" concept taught through Foundation Builder Guide's Intro Principles of Creation class called The Pilgrim's Course, teaching this important "Sun at Horizon" principle. (see The Early Semitic Pictographic Alphabet book)
  • See here to learn about the Foundation Builder Guide teaching the Principles of Creation.

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